Category: Uncategorized

How to Endure Political Attack (against someone you love)

My heart broke last November, (whose didn’t?) It must have been March when my husband collected enough signatures to run for local office. I was upright by then. I’d survived the inauguration. Accepted the presidential reality. And alongside it, these last months, I’ve watched my husband run for public office. A small step in a…

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How to Accept Suffering

To the Woman who Suffers Now Suddenly: You emailed me. You used to cycle, you told me. Play sports. You used the word “intense” about that part of you. Then all that changed. You read my story (a story I’d rather forget) about needing to walk with a cane. You asked if I could tell you how I…

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How to Be Vulgar (and Why It’s Your Civic Duty)

My parents once brought me to a fancy dinner in Washington D.C.. It was some kind of chichi banquet for my stepdad’s industry, and before long I had his boss slamming his hands against the banquet table in fury. He was the kind of well-fed, grey-haired fellow who oozes a sense of power. Think Tillerson. “Where…

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How to White Mother a Black Daughter (during Black History Month)

I am the white mom of a black daughter and what the hell do I know about unleashing her #blackgirlmagic? I know that moms are really just temporary tour guides who keep everything as safe and comfortable as possible before our charges walk off into their own sunset. Before they enter the zone beyond their mother’s…

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How to Love Reality Television

I’ve have not missed an episode of the The Bachelor franchise since 2002 when I stumbled upon a Rose Ceremony during the first season. It was all so medieval. What was going on exactly? Why was he choosing them? I still remember my fascination with the pageantry. Young women in cocktail dresses posed in a faux-formal…

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How to Avoid Politics (You Can’t)

Everything is political. Because everything is touched by the power that either enables its freedom or forges its oppression. Even my love for my children does not and cannot exist beyond politics. You might think of it as a simple love. Easy and universal. Separate from the politics of the day in America. What does such…

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How to Talk to Trump Voters

Yesterday I wanted Trump voters who are Facebook friends to know my position on their vote. I regret that I was silent before the election. My request that Trump voters unfriend me was two-fold. First, I had no idea who they were if they didn’t have “Trump/Pence” wallpaper. Second, it was intended as a courtesy. I…

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How to Vote for Hillary Clinton

I was 7 years old when I asked my mom: “Why aren’t there any naked men?” We were watching Beatlemania and breasts blossomed across the stage’s backdrop. The boy band sang “Strawberry Fields Forever” while fully dressed in clothes. My mom shushed me. But I didn’t ask out of perversion or nastiness. I asked because I have…

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How to Terrify Children

“Too scary!” my four year-old daughter wails. She shuts her eyes tight as I lead her to the “safe” part of the Halloween super store. The section with the costumes that make her smile—princesses and cupcakes. But to get there we had to walk past zombie babies, haunted dolls, and bloody limbs. I steered her…

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How to Find a Miracle

  I’ve often had an adversarial relationship with God. In 3rd grade, I cussed him out. I’d heard my Grandpa use the phrase “God Dammit” with gusto and anger and ease. So I threw it at God myself. Alone. In my bedroom. The afternoon sun casting all that yellow light over the detritus on my floor:…

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