Category: Uncategorized

I Nominate ALL OF YOU for the #LoveYour(Fill-in-the-Blank) Challenge

“You should friend me,” said the man at the party who I barely knew, “just don’t post anything corny or lovey-dovey or anything about your kids. Or I’ll have to drop you.” “That’s all I post,” I smiled. “You’re getting a rude comment when I see that stuff,” he continued. “So you’re an actual real life…

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How to Have a Serious Convo with Your Husband

My husband and I have this terrific marriage. I trust him implicitly and I love him like mads. Which is why I’m so confused by this—this “fact” that he mentioned recently. He said it to me in passing as he strolled past my office door. I work with it open to stave off claustrophobia. He’ll…

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Go Look at #BlackManJoy on Twitter Right Now

You need to see black men as they actually are–especially if you don’t have experience with that. Media images of black guys are overwhelming negative. Lately, we’ve seen the relentless circulation of violence in phone videos. Many of us react with horror and empathy. But lots do not. These images did not start with Rodney…

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How to Get Likes on Facebook

I have a tiny internet presence. 247 Facebook friends. 1800 Twitter followers–but based on the amount of action there, it could just as easily be 3. I post to Pinterest and Instagram without notice or fanfare. My blog subscribers are in the single digits and one of them is my mother. My most popular FB…

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How to Admire Your Mom (#FirstTimeIWasCatcalled)

The absolute hands down coolest thing about my mom is that she never, I mean never, took any shit from men. I was born with her smile, her voice, her eyes and her brain, but I didn’t inherit any of that take-no-bullshit-from-dudes power. Or if I did, it was latent well into my twenties. I used to…

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How to Get Sexually Harassed as a Child (#FirstTimeIWasCatcalled)

  “Wheeeeht–whoo.” Then again, louder. “Wheeeeht–whoo.” “Lookit that piece.” I heard a guffaw from across the street. Then a different voice: “Be-yoo-ti-full.” Next came a deeper tone. Aggressive. “How are you today, sweetheart?” The sidewalk was hot and it scraped the bottom of my wet feet. I had just switched to a tippy-toed scamper. I was…

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How to Win a Man’s Heart Through Cooking (Yeah, right)

“Why do you even love me?” I asked this question early on in my relationship to the man I would eventually marry. I was testing out how well he knew me. It was like a scene in a romantic comedy. He whipped out a big, charming speech. There was probably something about my eyes in there, but…

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How to Suffer Pain in Public

My fingers are pinched in binder clips. Not really. That’s just what it feels like. First, I imagined mouse traps, then binder clips came to mind. They seemed more elegant and more accurate. I picked up three apples and glanced toward my cart. I had left it just beyond two large displays of produce. Now…

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How to (Accidentally) Kill your Child’s Pets & Emotionally Survive it

Shortly after Dash discovered a baby bird carcass splattered on the patio, I decided that I would get him a pet. He found the bird just after the kind of rainstorm that pounds the pavement clean. “Is that its stomach?” he asked. We were looking at what seemed to be an open egg with bony…

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How to Respond to a Facebook Post on Race, Beyoncé or anything tagged #BlackHistoryMonth (if you’re white)

Last week I did something I never do. I made a comment on a political post on Facebook. I don’t make these kinds of comments because I don’t believe that anything substantive can be said on Facebook. As a former academic, I’m used to citing sources and taking at least 30 pages to explain my…

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